Never Play Star Wars Trivia With the God of Death
by Morpha
Summary: Um. Duo no like Star Wars. He and the others must learn all star wars info they can cuz if they don't.....heck. just read it.


Uh. Yousa readers? Um. mesa back! To quote Jar Jar Binks. My apartment  
in Lala land WAS being attacked by dust bunnies. Thanks to Obi-Wan they  
are all gone. Hm. This is supposed to be a Gundam fic and yet it seems  
like Star Wars. Oh well. Anyways. I haven't been writing lately because  
of the apartment incident. Shini really needs to get exterminators if  
this happens again.(I decided not to ask the G-guys.. they might have  
blown up my apartment and then Shini would have been ticked!) Oh yeah.   
I don't own Gundam Wing or Star Wars so no sue. I mean all you would   
get from me would be two pennies, a gum wrapper, and a reciet saying I   
spent lots of money on Blue Fire's Trunks shirt.So enjoy another insane  
story.And may the mashers be with you! ^_~   
  
Never Play Star Wars Trivia with the God of Death   
By Morpha (a psyopath who loves Gundam Wing & Star Wars)  
  
Quatre plopped a bored game down onto the coffee table, where Duo,Heero,  
Trowa and Wufei were playing Go Fish. The item he had dropped made a   
jingaling noise. Duo looked at the box. It read "Star Wars Trilogy   
Trivia Questions (Plus 15 cards from Episode 1!)".   
  
Duo: Whats this for? *points to boardgame box*  
  
Quatre: Morpha is coming over tomorrow to check up on us. She feels  
that its her duty.  
  
Trowa: Yeah. The duty to search through our rooms and steal our stuff.  
  
Duo: Or your boxers Quatre.  
  
Quatre: *blush* *sweatdrop*   
  
Wufei: She would never think of doing that to me!  
  
Duo: Thats cuz you wear briefs you ding-dong.  
  
Heero: Besides, who would want to steal underwear that read "Honorable  
Tuesday on them"?? (There making me sound like Happosai!!)  
  
Quatre: Morpha would not do such a thing. I hope. (Grr.) Anyways, I   
thought we should prepare.  
  
Heero: Why would we need a boardgame to prepare?  
  
Quatre: Because. It just happens that she was hit by a squirrel wearing  
a star wars hat and she decided to ask us a few Star Wars questions.  
Don't ask. Better not to.  
  
Trowa: Squirrel??  
  
Duo: *ignoring Trowa* So? She asks us a few Star Wars questions. Even  
though I hate that series.   
  
*Morpha storms in, whaps Duo's head and walks away*  
  
Duo: Ow. *rubs head* Boy is she touchy!   
  
Quatre: If we answer them wrong she will punish us.  
  
Wufei: So we put up with the torture! Stop acting like a weakling!!!!  
  
Quatre: Wufei! This is Morpha we are talking about! For all we know  
the punishment might be to to dance the funky chicken in a speedo,  
while recieting Shakespere!  
  
Trowa: O.o Funky chicken?? Squirrel??  
  
Wufei: Point well seen. So how do we dodge this?  
  
Duo: We hide.  
  
Trowa: Walk grapefruits.  
  
Wufei: Fight!  
  
Heero: Learn all the info on Star Wars in one night.  
  
Quatre: Right Heero. That is why I went out after she phoned about  
coming tomorrow, and bought htis trivia game!   
  
Trowa: .... But I've never seen Star Wars.  
  
Duo: I saw some and I *looks around for Morpha* didn't care for it.  
And Shini told me not to like it. (Morpha glares at Shini)  
  
Wufei: I only saw the fourth one. I wouldn't watch the rest because  
some onna had weird hair.  
  
Heero: Blue Fire made me watch some of it but she said I was asking to  
many questions and turned it off.  
  
Quatre: Morpha has made me watch all of them so far. And George Lucas  
is till making another two! So I'm fine.  
  
Heero: Mission accepted. I shall learn all I can about Star Wars!  
  
Duo: Count me in.  
  
Wufei: I will unwillingly learn.  
  
Trowa: Squirrels, huh. Count me in then.  
  
Quatre: Okay. *opens box* We will go in order of colonies. So that   
means Heero will go first. "Who broke the neck chain Jabba had leashed  
to Princess Leia??"  
  
Heero: Leia?  
  
Quatre: No.   
  
Heero: How am I supposed to know!?  
  
Quatre: Well you might. It was R2D2. Remember that. She just might ask  
that.  
  
Heero: *scribbles down new info* Roger.  
  
Trowa: I love that movie!  
  
Duo: What movie?  
  
Trowa: Who framed Roger rabbit!  
  
Wufei: You baka! Were not even talking about that movie!  
  
Trowa: *sweatdrop* Oh. Well I still do.  
  
Duo: Whatever just ask me my question.  
  
Quatre:"What vehicle did Leia ride on when heading out to the Sarlacc  
pit?"  
  
Duo: Deathscythe Hell.   
  
Quatre: No.  
  
Duo: What else could they be riding? And what's a Sarlacc?  
  
Quatre: They were riding a sail barge. And a Sarlacc is a creature  
that lives in a hole and keeps its mouth opened so predators will fall  
in.  
  
Duo: Why the hell would it keep it mouth opened!?  
  
Quatre: To eat!  
  
Duo: So why was Leia going to see a Sarlacc!? Was she just going to  
magically fall in it!?  
  
Quatre: NO! She was being held prisioner and was going to watch the   
exicution of Luke,Han and Chewbacca!  
  
Duo: Why?  
  
Quatre: Because she had to! Trowa your turn.  
  
Trowa: k.  
  
Quatre: "What color was Yoda's skin?"  
  
Trowa: Peach.  
  
Quatre: No. It was green.  
  
Trowa: So he's a martian.  
  
Quatre: No. He's a jedi.  
  
Trowa: Oh. Okay. So all Jedi have green skin.  
  
Quatre: No. Just species that are born with green skin. Like Yaddle.  
  
Trowa: Why does Yaddle have green skin ?  
  
Quatre: Because Yoda and Yaddle are the same species.  
  
Trowa: *grabs head* My brain hurts.  
  
Wufei: Ask me a question! I'll show all you weaklings.  
  
Quatre: k. "Who described death as 'forever sleep'?"  
  
Wufei: Me.  
  
Quatre: No. Your not in Star Wars.  
  
Wufei: So? I say death is forever sleep!  
  
Quatre: But there asking who says that from Star Wars not you.  
  
Wufei: Do they have a problem with me?  
  
Quatre: No. They just want you to name Star Wars people. And the answer  
is Yoda.  
  
Wufei: Why is this Yoda so popular?  
  
Quatre: Because he has to train Luke for awhile.  
  
Wufei: Ah. So they actually fight in this movie.  
  
Heero: That would be why they call it Star WARS.  
  
Duo: Ask me another!!!!  
  
Quatre: Okay. This ia an Episode 1 question so get it right. "What  
Episode 1 is the real-life nephew of Dennis 'Wedge Antilles' Lawson?"  
  
Duo: Some dork.  
  
*Morpha throws sharp objects from her author chair at Duo*  
  
Duo: *dodges knives* GEEZ!!!! WHATS HER PROBLEM!!???  
  
Quatre: Thats her favorite person from the whole series. The answer  
is Ewan McGregor. He plays Obi-Wan Kenobi.  
  
Duo: HELL WITH STAR WARS!!!!! ASK ME ANOTHER!  
  
Quatre:"What does Luke address Obi-Wan as throughout the trilogy?"  
  
Duo: Sir.  
  
Quatre: No.  
  
Duo: Master?  
  
Quatre: No.  
  
Duo: DAMMIT!!!!!!! I HATE STAR WARS!!!!!!!!! *takes out scythe and  
starts to shred the game box* TELL GEORGE LUCAS THAT HE CAN @*($)&%#+%  
*@#^)%^_@*@_)&%@#^%@_&$)_@&)@_*@)&%()^&!@)*!)*@$&$@+&*+)~::@&_!&!!!!!!  
!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
{The follwing has been censored for the following reasons: Morpha  
finds it offensive, its bad mouthing Star Wars, and because its fun.  
Thank You for waiting patiently. Please enjoy the rest of the story!}  
  
Morpha: *enters with the "Support Authors Love for Star Wars!"   
commitee* That was not funny! You have lost the privilage of getting  
to learn about Star Wars over night! I'll ask your questions now!  
Heero!"What is Han Solo?"  
  
Heero: A smuggler??  
  
Morpha: Correct! I spare your life and pride. Trowa. Your turn! "What  
color is Qui-Gons lightsaber!?"  
  
Trowa: *the words "green", "squirrel", and "speedo" flash in his mind*  
Um. Whats a color out of those? GREEN!  
  
Morpha: Right. I spare your life. Onna! *Wufei trembles* Yes Wufei  
thats you! "What did C3PO call a near sighted scrap pile?"  
  
Wufei: Um. Er. R2D2.  
  
Morpha: Learned well you have. Spare you I do! Oh Q-Kun! *Quatre   
straightens* "Who plays Wdge Antilles?"   
  
Quatre: Dennis Lawson.  
  
Morpha: Good job! *glares at Duo* Duo! "Who is the coolest, most   
powerful, and hottest jedi?"  
  
Duo: *angry* MY... BIG... FAT ASS!!!!!  
  
Morpha: WRONG!!!!!!!!  
  
Duo: SCREW STAR WARS!!!!!!!!  
  
Morpha: WRONGO BUCKO!!!!!!!! YOU IN BIG BANTHA PODO NOW!!!! *takes  
laptop and types about Duo wearing boxers, tied up, being hugged by  
his miko and other reviewers and having to sing Bing Crosby's "Maliki  
Laka"*  
  
Duo: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! *Shini glomps him as do million of Duo loving  
reviewers* Um. *sings (badly may I add)* Maliki laka is the thing to   
say on a cold winter day. Er. I'm in hell cuz I can hardly breathe   
and my miko is going to kill me.  
  
*Shini and all the Duo lovers start to fight*  
  
Morpha: *hits Duo on the head* SING IT RIGHT!  
  
Duo: I don't remember the words!!!  
  
Morpha: tough for you then. Your not moving until you sing it good  
and correctly. And if your going to have to sing good you'll be  
standing in those striped boxers for a LONG time!  
  
Duo: NO!!!!! AND I THOUGHT THAT I HAD GOTTEN AWAY FROM HELL!!  
  
Two Days later.  
  
Quatre was happily humming while cooking breakfast. Trowa was brushing  
his pet grapefruit Fluffy the 4th, Wufei was suing all the instant  
masher companies, Heero was ploshing his gun, and Duo was sitting  
at the kitchen table with a sore throat, a headache from all of   
Morpha's wackings, and Shini's beatings. Quatre looked at his glum  
friend and thought of an idea to cheer him up.  
  
Quatre: I know everyone! Lets play Star Wars Trivia!!!  
  
Duo: IF YOU EVER SAY THAT GAMES NAME AGAIN I, THE GOD OF DEATH, WILL  
COME OVER AND BEAT THE LIVING HELL OUT OF YOU!!!!! Ooo. My head hurts.  
*takes some asprin*   
  
Everyone: *sweatdrop*  
  
  
The End  
  
Morpha: *hugs Quatre* Your so smart Quatre! You got my question right!  
  
Quatre: Well you did make me watch all the movies.  
  
  
  
  



End file.
